Inverted Survival

I cannot tell you how often it is that I seem to do things the "wrong" way first, and then the "right" way. I'm not talking about simple mistakes here. I'm talking about life-altering events. The order of Being. Shit like that.


Graduate college, get a job, get married, have kids... the standard order of things, yes? I don't do that. I ended up with: have kids, graduate college, get married. I even made a pattern of sorts out of it. Kid, college, married, college, kid, divorce...

Anyway.

I also noticed that just about every single damn game I've ever played (the ones that require some sort of controller), I start to play without realizing something is wrong. Then suddenly I go the wrong way, adjust it, go the wrong way again, adjust it. You'd think after 15 minutes of fucking up I'd learn the right way to get around, but no. It's ridiculous. I kept trying and trying, like a bat on acid, spinning without meaning to and jerking my character this way and that, to get around. UNTIL, that is, one fine day when I realized that most games come with an Invert-Y option. Once I invert the Y-axis of the game, I'm golden. I actually move the right way the FIRST time without having to correct myself.

Interesting sidenote: I can learn how to use either regular or inverted X-axis controls very easily. Almost instantly. But for some reason the Y-axis, the ups and downs of things, is stuck in my brain as a non-negotiable factor. Sort of interesting if you think of human patterning on the outside. We have a left and a right side, which could almost be flipped without noticing [click]...












but flip someone's top with their bottom, and...


we'll just leave that joke out.



I remember reading something about how our brains process information. Horizontal stripes versus vertical stripes, and how that relates to aposematic coloring in snakes. I also remember reading something about how cameras autofocus, and problems with vertical or horizontal blinds. I decided to refresh my memory, if possible, with the wonders of Google.


There is an interesting article referenced here [click]. One line from the abstract reads, "Vertical tracking was found to be inferior to horizontal tracking at all age levels."



Another article [click] links vertical meridians to athleticism: "non-athletes had better vertical movement perception limits." Here's a shocker: I'm no athlete. Could my Y-Inverted hand-eye processing actually be because my vertical perception is stronger than usual? Hmmmm. Perhaps?


As for cameras, the autofocus [click] has issues with horizontal things. "Passive autofocus systems usually react to vertical detail," which means they are somewhat unable to distinguish what's going on with horizontal detail. Unless you flip them sideways. Hmmmm... I wonder how difficult it would be for me to adjust my axis if I was playing a game on my side. Worth an attempt, perhaps? Perhaps.










I am also noticing (in my search frenzy) that there are varying amounts of horizontal vision (degrees from the median line) required for driver licensing from state to state. Some states require 100 degrees, while others require 140 degrees. No mention of degrees from a vertical median, which I find somewhat interesting. I mean, yes it is obvious that we live in a more-or-less horizontal plane, but shouldn't there be some sort of minimum range, vertically speaking? Oh wait! Kentucky requires 25 degrees above and below the object of fixation. The only state to mention it (as presented with this website [click], anyway).


I would like, in any case, to call other Y-Invert-Functioning people to attention. What is it about us (assuming I'm not the only one) that makes regular Y-axis functioning so difficult? Sure, we're great at Flight Simulation games, but why can't we just flip to the "regular" Y-axis program like other people? What is it about us that makes us so unable to flip our hand-eye coordination to play the way other people can?


This seems to be a moderate disability. Hey- the way video games and other automated, controller-based tools are taking over the planet, it just might be relevant! But what do I call it? I'm tall, so if I say that I'm vertically challenged, it won't make sense. If I say longitudinally challenged, I sound like a wayward explorer of the middle ages. Slightly more accurate, but far from what I'm trying to imply. A thesaurus could be useful, but did you know that if you look up "vertically" in the online thesaurus.com, you get "horizontally" as a synonym?! Au contraire! I'm at a loss.

This whole experience is leaving me with a yen to visit an optometrist for kicks.


Anyway. In my continual inability to play a game without the Y-axis inverted (most recently attempted when playing on the Xbox with one of my developing gametes), I decided it was a metaphor for my life, in general. Everything is set up backwards, and I have to assert my own way of acting in order for anything to make sense. Once I realize things can be (and are, once I flip the switch) my way...












the game is mine.